Thursday, December 22, 2011

31 Weeks & Christmas time!

On Monday, I hit the 31 week mark which was pretty exciting for me, because now I'm in the single-digit week countdown! 12 weeks to go, sounds SO much longer than 9!

I can't believe I only have 6 more weeks of work left, and then I'm off for 4 whole months! That will be the longest I haven't worked since I was 16. I know it will be hard work, I'll be sleep deprived, and a little bit broke, but It will be so nice not have to answer emails, sit in a chair all day and use post its for everything.

Other than being excited for our little guy to hurry up and get here already, we are excited for Christmas and the holiday season in general. We are hosting a tamale and ugly christmas sweater party at our place tomorrow night, which we are REALLY excited about! We decorated our own sweaters, and they're delightfully hideous. Also, Bobby and I's birthdays fall 5 days apart, so we have 2 birthday dinners with our friends and family planned next week, and then the weekend after that, we will be going to Big bear for the weekend to kind of get one last vacation before the baby comes. Lots of winter-y stuff going on!

This week, Gunner is 3.3 lbs and 16.25 inches long! The size of 4 navel oranges :]

Monday, December 12, 2011

30 Weeks!

Eventhough 2 weeks ago (at 28 weeks) seemed like a huge milestone (making it to my 3rd trimester), I definitely feel like today is a special occassion too. I'm officially 30 weeks along, and feeling sooooo excited for the next 10 weeks to go by as quickly as possible! I just want to meet my son already!

Every day he feels a little bigger, and so do I. I'm anxious for my doctor appointment next week, I have a feeling they're going to tell me I've gained 10 pounds or more since last month. That would still only put my up to 28 pounds all together, which is completely healthy and normal, but I don't know how I'll feel about being the heaviest I've ever been in my life, with 9 more weeks to go. I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for a 6-8 pound gain for this month. Then again, all these holiday cookies make me fear otherwise...

I'm thinking of a little way to celebrate, but everything that comes to mind includes an extra large pizza. Which doesn't really help me out in the weight department, so..........WAH.

30 weeks today. 15.7 inches long, 2.75 pounds and as big as a cabbage! My little cabbage patch kid :]

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


As time goes on, I am definitely feeling how difficult it is to carry this baby. In more ways than one. Not only do I feel physically exhausted at the end of each day, I'm starting to really realize how much my body, life, and relationships have changed. Mostly good changes, but some have been really tough to handle. I guess when we decided to have a child, I didn't realize how much I would be sacrificing, and how much of my identity, life, interests and priorities would be put on the backburner. I know I only have a short while left, and that I am going to miss it when its gone, but for now, I am having a hard time with my growing body, responsibilities and emotions. I am looking forward to meeting my son so much, and I know that if it is hard, it is usually worth the struggle. For now, I'm just trying to realize that I am in a really delicate state, and trying to remember to give myself a break whenever I can, but that isn't always an option.

For Christmas this year, the only things I want are more help, more empathy, more patience and more love.

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Luckiest girl in the world

Over the weekend my mom threw me my baby shower, and I have to say, I have never felt more appreciative and lucky in all my life. It was so wonderful to see all my friends and family come together and be so excited to meet the new addition to the family. This kid is going to be spoiled to death, thats for sure!

The food, the cake, the gifts and the love were all beautiful, and I just feel so grateful for everyone and everything I have.

Now, I am never a very emotional person, but reading the cards, and seeing the awesome notes people had written me was so special, and I cired like a total pansy! I thought it was hilarious that I couldn't stop crying almost the entire time, and was making fun of myself non stop.

All of the presents were amazing, and our nursery is pretty much complete now. We even got enough gift cards and cash to buy our glider/ottoman! Needless to say, I spent all weekend just rocking my little heart out.

I also washed all of the laundry, and folded everything and put it away in the dresser, which I was super proud of, especially since being productive (and mobile) is harder and harder these days. Now all we have to do is buy a few last minute items, and  hurry and wait for him to get here! Only 11 more weeks until our SON is here!

Today, I'm 29 weeks and my little guy is 15.25 inches long, and about 2.5 pounds!

Today's Playlist:
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - She & Him
Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt
Christmas Day - She & Him

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Hello 3rd Trimester!

On Monday, I hit 28 weeks which is the official start of my 3d trimester! WOOHOO!!! It really is the final countdown! I can't believe that in about 83 days (or less!) our SON will be here!

Its so insane to think about how much my life has changed in the past 6 months, let alone in the past 6 years. I went from total wild child to a responsible adult. When the heck did that happen? I mostly have Bobby to thank for that. Eventhough we were both a little crazy when we met, he gave me a reason to turn my life around, and gave me the motivation to be a better person. I'm just so lucky to have him, and I can't wait to start our family together.

I know that being parents is going to be the most rewarding and most difficult thing we've ever done, but I am looking forward to every little moment.

Now that our little guy is REALLY starting to grow (1/2 a pound a week!), I am feeling and seeing his movements way more than before. I am trying so hard to envision what he's going to look like. I feel like I already know his personality and patterns. He is most active in the morning between 7 & 9 AM. I think he likes to wake me up and remind me to feed him! Then he's pretty quiet until about 3 PM and then he starts bouncing around. I've made it my afternoon ritual to eat a snack and watch him karate chop me :] Then he goes back to sleep and wakes up for his last dance of the day around 10 or 11 PM. His movements have been pretty regular for the past couple of weeks, and I hope they stay that way after he's born. 3 spurts of energy a day are totally manageable.

So now, all I have to do is wait for him to get chubby, and get ready to meet the world! We can't wait to meet you little guy! Love you so much already!

28 weeks. 15 inches & 2.25 pounds!

Today's Playlist:
I Can't Hear You - The Dead Weather
The Difference Between Us - The Dead Weather
3 Birds - The Dead Weather

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Baby shower

My baby shower is next weekend and I can hardly wait! Its going to be so adorable, and I can't thank my mom, and Bobby's aunt enough for everything they've done to make this time in my life so special. I feel so lucky to have so many people who care so much about me, and our baby. He is going to have such a great family, and I know there will be more than enough love to go around :]

We are going to have a baby-bird/owl theme to match the nursery, and of course have tons of blue decorations!

Now, all I have to do is find something cute to wear, and eat my little heart out on the big day!

Hold them close

I've been relucant to write about this topic, because I've already spent so much time crying and being completely devastated that I didn't even want to think about it anymore.

Last week on Veteran's day, my dear friends lost their baby due to a freak act of nature. She was 7 1/2 months along, and quite possibly the best parent-to-be I've ever met.

Being pregnant myself, it was especially hard to hear the news and for a while, I was in denial about what had even happened. Everyone knows that miscarriges are really common the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, but no one ever hears about such a late stage loss. Either that, or they don't want to talk about it.

My heart is completely broken for my friends, and I can't even imagine what they must be going through. I'm just so bewildered, angry, in shock and depressed about the whole situation. It really makes you think about how lucky you are to have each and every healthy day. I'm just so confused why horrible things happen to wonderful people. Why do so many irresponsible, unworthy parents have healthy children, pop them out one after another, when loving, stable and kind people get the shit end of the stick? It doesn't make any sense. I always thought that everything happens for a reason, but I don't see any justification in this. Its so incredibly unfair.

It goes without saying, that I'm never going to complain about any pregnancy symptom again. Every time my little guy kicks me in the ribs, I'm going to smile and be grateful that he is still with me, and is strong. Every time I have to get lab work or other blood tests done, I'll say thank you, because it means I have good medical care, and my child is being watched over. Every time I gain another pound, I'm going to feel happy because it means my little man is growing. Things like this really make you look twice at your blessings, and make you realize how short and precious life really is.

Every day, I'm going to send love, support and kindness their way, and hope that they know that this was not their fault, and the chances of anything like this happening again are one in a billion. I know that when they decide to try again, they will be the best parents, and probably love their kid all the more. The baby they lost will always be remembered, and always be such a huge part of all of our lives.

So, all you mamas out there, hold your babies extra close. You don't know how lucky you are to have them.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Maternity photos & nursery decorating

Over the weekend, Bobby and I finally got in the mail the adorable tree wall decal that we ordered on Etsy. As soon as he got home from work on Friday, we tore into it and put up the whole thing, and we couldn't be happier!

It even came with 2 cute birds & an extra branch to put up on the other side of the nursery too!

We were really excited it came on time for our maternity photo shoot with our favorite lil photog AnnaJoy! She is amazing and makes us look way cuter than we are in real life :] I'm so excited to see the rest!

P.S. I'm 26 weeks along, and baby bear is approximately 14 inches long, and weighs 1 3/4 lbs! Dang! Luckily, I've only gained 18 lbs so far, so I'm fairly confident I'll be able to keep it under 40 total. We shall see... :]

Today's Playlist:
The World May Never Know - Dr. Dog
I Was Made For You - She & Him
Someday - The Strokes

Thursday, November 3, 2011

It is so good to be loved

Yesterday, we were surprised with a GIANT box on our doorstep. One of the offices at my company had ordered and shipped us the most coveted item on our baby registry - The ultimate baby swing! Its a Graco SweetPeace Baby Bear swing, and it is so high tech and adorable at the same time, I squealed like a little piggy when I saw it.

Needless to say, we brought it upstairs immediately and set it up. I didn't realize how amazing this thing was until I started playing with all of the features. Removable/repositionable seat. Removable toy rack. 6 different speeds. Vibration feature. 3 different types of music. A timer. MP3 hookup. Battery or electricity operated. Our carseat fits in it too. Like....whoa. I'm kinda jealous of my baby right now.

After we were done playing with this new amazing toy, we went to our childbirth class, which I'm really glad we decided to do, by the way. We get free snacks, and our hubbies have to give us massages. Can we just do this every week, even after I'm not pregnant anymore? :]

P.S. I'm 24 1/2 weeks, and baby bear is 13 inches long, and 1.25 pounds. About the size of an ear of corn according to my pregnancy application on my phone. EEP!

Today's playlist:
Apple Blossom - The White Stripes
Soft Shock - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Soma - The Strokes

Friday, October 28, 2011

My Husband is super handy

When I got home from work yesterday afternoon, I was surprised to see that Bobby had convonced our neighbor to help him get the dresser/changing table he re-finished upstairs and into the nursery! I have been patiently waiting to get that gorgeous peice of furniture upstairs so I could get all of the onesies and socks off of the floor, hide some of the baby minitor wires behind it, and just do some general obsessing and nesting. It was a really great feeling to add another big peice of furniture to the room! I'm so thakful to have a hubby that knows how to do handy things like this.

I can't wait until after the baby shower so I can put the changing pad on top and fill up the basket with diapers and other changing supplies! My nesting instinct has turned on full blast hahaha Lets see how bad it gets in the next few months.

Today's Playlist:
Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins
Don't You Evah - Spoon
Let It Rain - Tilly & The Wall

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Childbirth Classes

Yesterday night, Bobby and I started the 6-week childbirth courses I signed us up for. When first looking into the program, I was really worried Bobby would miss most of the classes because of his work schedule, but because of Thanksgiving forcing the class to skip 1 week, it works out perfectly and he can come to them all.

I have to say, I was a little nervous, but after walking in and seeing the variety of couples, and meeting the extremely nice instructor, I was really happy that we decided to sign up. The classes are every Wednesday night from 7-9 and are only about a 1/2 mile from our house, so its super convenient and we don't have to rush dinner or anything because of the timing. I feel like most of the material that will be covered in the class is stuff I am already reading about in my baby books, but its a good opportunity for Bobby to learn all the terminology, stages and circumstances without me talking for 5 hours a night and completely annoying the crap out of him, or him having to read a 400 page book haha!

Plus, we get tons of free snacks, and get to sit in giant beanbag chairs, so that makes me happy :]

This week we covered the different stages of labor, watched a video of a live birth (poor Bobby was blindsided by a close-up of someone's lady-parts exploding! hahahah), and practiced breathing exercises. Eventhough I'm really happy we are doing this together and getting an opportunity to bond, it is making everything seem really real and scary. I'm soooo nervous about labor, and even more nervous how I am going to handle being a mom, career woman, wife, and still manage to have a life. Its going to be a challange, but I'm sure once I see my little man's chubby face, I'll have all the motivation I need.

Today's Playlist:
1, 2, 3, 4 - Feist
If You Can't Sleep - She & Him
Runaway - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Monday, October 24, 2011

Scrapbooking & Official baby name!

Last night I headed over to my girlfriend Jen's house to do some scrapbooking and to use her new amazing Cricut machine. It felt really great to put all of my wedding photos into some kind of order and to use all of the stickers and decorations I have been saving. Jen was awesome enough to start a scrapbook for us before our wedding, and we both finally had time to get the ball rolling.

I also picked out the paper and started the first page of the baby's scrapbook! I figured all of those ultrasound pictures and pregnancy polaroids weren't doing anyone any good just sitting in an envelope in my bookcase.

I guess now would be a good time to reveal what we've decided to name our little peanut... DUN DUN DUN! We have decided to name him Gunner Lee Stovall. We've known for a pretty long while that we wanted to give him this name, but over the past few weeks, we have had a chance to use it and get used to it and we definitely feel like it fits perfectly. We wanted to give him a unique and sort of manly first name, so Gunner seems really natural. Also, Lee is a sort of a family middle name- Bobby's middle name is Lee and so was his grandpa's, and plus, it goes well with just about any first name, so it was an easy pick.

We are really happy with the decision we've made, and are so relieved that one of the hardest parts of being pregnant/expecting is already decided and taken care of. No stress, no arguing, no nothing!

Oh, and I'm 23 weeks today. And GUNNER is a foot long, and 1.1 lbs. Getting chubbier in there!

Today's Playlist:
You Really Got a Hold on Me - She & Him
I Was Made for You - She & Him
Baby Its Cold Outside - She & Him

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Going backwards

So I'm 22 1/2 weeks now, and really starting to become large & uncomfortable. Its amazing how much transformation your body goes through in just a few short days and how much bigger and stronger my little guy gets every day.

I've starting getting really bad bachaches and hip/tailbone discomfort lately, which completely sucks. If I sit for too long, I'm in pain. If I stand or walk for too long, I'm in pain. Thankfully, I'm more than halfway there, so I can start counting DOWN the weeks instead of counting up.

Its funny how the first half of your pregnancy you can't wait to start showing, you're anxious for all of the symptoms to kick in, you can't wait to feel that first kick...Then all of it hits you at once and you can't wait to be your normal self again. As much as I am enjoying my pregnancy and can hardly contain my happiness, I have to tell you, its been rough.

I told Bobby that I am DEMANDING that he bring me a shit ton of sashimi and sushi while I'm still in the hospital. And that as soon as I feel up to it, I would really love to have a 1/2 a bottle of Blue Moon and snuggle up on the couch with my 2 boys. Eventhough I know all of these limitations are for a good cause (a healthy baby), I am looking forward to being able to eat whatever I want and have a beer here and there. Trust me, I am super paranoid about drinking while breastfeeding, so I doubt I will be able to finish a whole bottle of beer without freaking out. Luckily there is such a thing as breastmilk alcohol test strips, which will be used whenever I have a tiny sip of anything alcoholic.

Oh, and this week our little one is a foot long and a full pound!

Today's Playlist:
One Chance - Modest Mouse
Furr - Blitzen Trapper
Crooked Teeth - Death Cab for Cutie

Monday, October 10, 2011

21 weeks

Just a mini update: Over the weekend Bobby was able to feel the baby move for the first time, which was pretty awesome. I think I was a little more excited to share the bond I have 24/7 with my little man than he was, but hey, I'll take any kind of affection I can get.

But I do have to say, he has been really supportive and helpful lately. He reminded me to take my 20 week pregnancy polaroid picture, which had completely slipped my mind. He even caught me all dressed up and looking cute before we walked out the door to meet my mom & nephews for a bday celebration, which was perfect timing! Thanks babe :]

Also, I ordered some super cute baby clothes from Old Navy, bought some fleece for making blankets and ordered the fabric for making the crib skirt, curtains and pillows for the nursery. I have a bunch of sewing/ projects ahead of me, and it feels great to be making progress. Last month was filled with pre-booked weekends, and we didn't have any time to just be normal people who take care of themselves & their homes on the weekends. We are definitely looking forward to just relaxing from here on out.

My little man is supposedly 10.5 inches long and 13 ounces today. Such a huge jump from last week! I definitely feel him getting stronger: those kicks are starting to wake me up at night.

Today's Playlist:
Once in a Lifetime - The Talking Heads
Rocket Man - Elton John
Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


It seems like every week there is a brand new and increasingly special milestone in my pregnancy.  At first it was hearing his heartbeat. Then seeing the first ultrasound. Then finding out he's a boy. Then feeling my little guy kick for the first time.

Last night was probably the most insane/memorable milestone yet. Its one thing to hear and feel your baby's presence. But SEEING is a completely different story. It brought things to a whole new level, reality-wise.

I was laying on the couch after dinner, just watching tv and snuggling with the kitties (Bobby had already gone to bed). I felt my peanut start kicking, like he always does right after a meal, and looked down at my stomach and SAW my belly pop out and pop back in. I seriously did a double take because I couldn't believe what I had just seen. Luckily the baby decided to give me an encore, and kicked/punched 3 more times, and I could see different parts of my stomach popping in and out. It was so bizarre!

Even though I know how big he is, it didn't really hit me how much of my body I'm actually sharing with him until last night. He's about 7 inches long, which is as long as my hand palm & fingers. When I lay my hand across my belly that takes up almost the whole thing. Its so cool to sit there and vizualize what he must look on the inside.

Anyway, I sat there and laughed and cried at the same time for about 10 minutes because I couldn't believe what had just happened. It was really amazing to bond with my little guy in this new way. I can't wait until he comes into the world. I know nothing will be the same, and its going to be amazing.

Today's Playlist:
Fidelity - Regina Spektor
Ice Storm, Big Gust & You - Tilly & the Wall
The Past and Pending - The Shins

Monday, October 3, 2011

Halfway there

So this week marks a pretty special milestone in this baby-baking process... I've made it to 20 weeks and it feels pretty darn great. To know that in 20 short weeks (or less) I am going to have my first child is equally exciting and terrifying. I know that my maternal and problem solving skills are awesome, but as the weeks pass, I am definitely thinking about all of the skills I lack or need to work on. Like flexibility. And patience. And not being foul-mouthed. Plus about 800 other things I can't think of right now.

I know that being a mom is a journey, and you're constantly growing and learning, anf if you don't have everything figured out the minute your kid pops out, its not the end of the world, but I think it would be stupid not to be scared just a little bit. A child is a huge responsibility, one that I am looking forward to, but one that I am taking very seriously. Now that my little guy is moving around a lot more, growing bigger every day and basically taking over my whole life (I love it by the way!), things are sinking in and I am really REALLY hoping I have the sanity, strength and stamina to pull it all off.

Luckily, Bobby has been nothing but supportive, kind and generous throughout this whole process, so it makes the idea of SHAPING THE YOUNG MIND OF AN INNOCENT BABY a little less scary. I know that whatever skills or virtues I'm lacking, he will more than make up for it and vice versa. I'm just trying to turn these anxious feelings and worry into productivity. We have the nursery all planned out, a few supplies bought and a long list of "to-dos" which will be finished in the very near future.

For now, I'm just relazing that I would be completely abnormal and  crazy NOT to be worried and cautious. I'll just make sure to ease my mind with plenty of baths and frozen yogurt, and take my agression out with the sewing machine and the oven :]

P.S. Little man is about 7 inches long today, and weighs 11 ounces. Big 'ol melon baby!

Today's Playlist:
When the Sun Don't Shine - Best Coast
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
Letter to Elise - The Cure

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Last night Bobby and I made our way to Target to register for gifts. We've been dying to do it since we found out our lil nuggie is a boy. It was so hard to not to register for everything in sight! There are so many cute clothes and gadgets for boys. I got a little emotional when we found a tiny pair of overalls. I have a feeling he will be as cute as his dad :]

Oh, and we have officially decided on a name, but thats a whole other post!

P.S. Baby Stovall is about 6 inches long and about 9 oz! So weird to have a little subway sandwich inside of there!

Today's Playlist:
Someday - The Strokes
Pictures of You - The Cure
Swan Song - Led Zeppelin

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Its a Boy!!!

We had our mid-pregnancy anatomy survey & gender determination ultrasound this morning and found out what I've suspected/hoped for all along... Its a Boy!!!

The ultrasound picture above is a shot of the bottom of our little man's butt. Imagine him sitting on a xerox machine & making a copy. Its the bottom of his thighs spread apart, and his little boy parts dangling in the middle :]

Because this was such an in-depth look at every single part of our baby's anatomy, we got to take pictures home of a few different things we've never seen before. The picture above is our baby's spine & skull. Pretty neat!

My favorite picture of the day (other than our kiddo's little package hehe!) is this perfect view of his foot! 5 toes! So cute <3

So basically, we're over the moon excited & can't wait to really get the nursery decorated & organized & start preparing for our little guy! YAY!!!

Today's playlist:
I Got Mine - The Black Keys
My Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse
In My Life - The Beatles

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I love you and I haven't even met you yet

So yesterday afternoon was a pretty special day for me, pregnancy-wise. I felt our little nugget kick for the first time! I was sitting in a conference call and all of a sudden felt a very obvious and unmistakeable thump in the lower left side of my belly.

I wanted to yell to everyone on the phone what had just happened, but figured it was best to put the call on mute and dance around the office and hold my belly instead :] It really was a special moment for me. I'm beginning to love this little peanut more and more everyday and he/she makes their presence more known.

I can't wait to meet you little one!

To celebrate this big milestone, I rented a movie when I got off of work and made myself my favorite dinner: Teriyaki salmon, vegetable potstickers and chili-garlic roasted edamame. YUM! Baby bear was happy too, I could tell.

P.S. I'm 17 weeks along, and our little alien baby is the size of an onion (5 1/2 inches long, and weighs around 6 ounces)

Today's playlist:
Your Touch - The Black Keys
Gone for Good - The Shins
Sea of Love - Cat Power

Monday, September 12, 2011

Filling the nursery

Yesterday Bobby and I went shopping for baby stuff at target with his Aunt. She's so awesome and might even be more excited about this baby than we are haha. We bought a lot of necessities and it really feels like the nursery is coming together. We bought a ton of onesies in various sizes, a few toys, and some grooming supplies.

The dresser is almost completely full, its crazy! I need to look into more sotrage for sure. For being only 4 months along, I feel really organized & prepared. I know you can't prepare for everything, but if I can make this whole process as smooth as possible, I will feel better than just playing it by ear. Having a kid is a huge responsibility and I want to make sure I am setting myself up for a happy experience. A little planning goes a long way!

Today's Playlist:
The World May Never Know - Dr. Dog
Dead Flowers- The Rolling Stones
Meet Me in the City - The Black Keys

Thursday, September 8, 2011


Well...not really. But, I am literally counting the hours until the 20th. Kasier just called me and set up an appointment on that morning to find out the gender of our peanut! I am beyond excited/anxious/nervous to finally find out! Its been torture buying nothing but gender neutral clothes & supplies for this little one. I want to be able to finally decide on dresses or overalls. Flowers or trucks. Sneakers or Mary Janes. Oh, and finally get the nursery going. I had a revalation- I only have 5 more months to pull this off. AHHHH!

Its been so long since I've been around newborns. I mean, my nephews are already pre-teens- talk about feeling old! I have a lot of re-learning and surprises coming my way. Luckily I have a flexible job that will allow me to take up to 4 months of maternity leave, AND Bobby gets 8 weeks of paid family leave. I'm so excited to have 2 months of help, bonding and free time (well, as much as we can manage with a screaming bundle of joy). It will definitely help us figure things out together and help us establish some kind of schedule before I'm left all alone for the last 2 months.

Bobby also signed me up for a magazine subscription to Amberican Baby, which has been surprisingly educational. There was a really interesting article in this month's issue about the various natural reflexes that newborns have, and where they originate from. Its so amazing how intricate and complex they are, even from day one. I can't wait to meet you little one!

Today's Playlist:
Shades - The Devil Makes Three
Howlin' For You - The Black Keys
From - Dr. Dog

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

This is when the fun starts!

Preparing for our nugget and thinking about what life will be like after he/she arrives, and attempting to make life more managable is definitely occupying the majority of our thoughts and conversations these days. Every time we go shopping, we end up buying at least 2 things for the baby. Just a few days ago, we went to Target for for socks and shampoo, and ended up coming home with a sock monkey stuffed animal and a bear shaped camping chair. Eventhough our little one won't be able to fully enjoy either of these things for quite some time, its mostly a bonding experience for Bobby and I.

With his work schedule being so hectic, we don't get a lot of time together, so we try to make every errand, outing, chore and second really count. Its frustrating to try and fit some romance into a grocery run, or schedule a movie date after a 14 hour day, but somehow, we make it work. I know that I will feel like a single parent a lot of the time, but I'm glad that our child will get to have a private, seperate relationship with their father, while I'm at work. Its important to have inside jokes, secret milkshakes before dinner, and quality time with just the two of them. I'm sad that we won't have a ton of time together as a family unit, but I'm glad that they will have time together, away from me.

Growing up in a home without a father figure (or at least a really crappy one), I think the most exciting thing I can give to my baby is the gift of a good, stable father. I am really looking forward to seeing the bond that Bobby and our baby create, and I already love him more for being such a supportive partner to me, and such a kind, hardworking and loving man. I couldn't ask for more.

Today's Playlist:
Pursuit of Happiness - Kid Cudi
Shades - The Devil Makes Three
Is This It - The Strokes

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Maternity Clothes

So this week I think it finally belly has popped out and I officially look like a real mama bear. It feels so good to be out of the awkward "maybe she's just fat" stage, and be into the "aw she's such a cute preggie" stage now. I was starting to get a little self concious about my "FUPA", as we call it. (If you have to ask, you probably shouldn't google it).

So in honor of my newly grown baby bump, and my ever shrinking jeans (its them, not me, I swear!), I went shopping for some cute maternity clothes. To my susprise and disdain, there is no such thing as "cute" maternity clothes. Everything makes you look like you have no boobs, are WAY larger than you actually are, cover everything up as if you're a shrew that shouldn't ever see the light of day, or give you a massive camel toe. Great.

I originally went shopping for jeans with a belly panel, but ended up going home with a new bra, a few pairs of cute underwear, 2 new pairs of shoes, a dress, and a few decent shirts that I can wear to work (woo effing hoo...). Looks like I might be converting some of my exisiting jeans into elastic waistband DIY projects in the next few weeks.

On another note, we get to find out out little nugget's gender in just a few short weeks! I can't wait to start buying miniature clothes, decorating the nursery and planning the baby shower!

Today's playlist:
Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear
Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
When I'm With You - Best Coast

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

14 weeks!

Along with more energy, my 2nd trimester has had plenty of upsides already. My appetite is back (with a vengance) and I no longer need daily naps. I was a little worried at first, because I was starting to feel SO great, that I was starting to wonder if I was still pregnant! Rest assured, we heard our baby's heartbeat (for the first time, yippie!!!), at our last appointment which was really special! I wanted to ask the doctor is we could listen to the thumping for a little longer, but we had plenty of other things to talk about. According to google, in just 3 short weeks we will be able to hear our lil nugget's heartbeat with a stethoscope! I'm looking forward to friend's and family being able to share that special feeling with us. And being able to satisfy my worry-wart self with daily heartbeat checks haha

Another great thing about this week is that I feel like I am finally starting to show! I have been measuring my belly and it has grown a full 5 inches from my original size. Maybe I didn't notice it because I see myself everyday, but that is a big change! I definitely feel my body changing more and more as time goes on. For instance, the top of my abdomen feels really tight and stuffed full of organs because my uterus is getting bigger and shoving everything up and out of the way. The only downside to getting bigger is more heartburn. Lets just say I have a heavy supply of Tums with me at all times now...

Since about 6 weeks along, I have been taking periodic polaroid pictures to document how big I get, and the different stages of my pregnancy. It will be exciting to show our baby once he/she old enough how I looked while I was pregnant.

Also, our doctor let us know that we will be able to find out the gender of our nugget around the end of next month! This entire time I have said that I didn't care what we had, but now that things are becoming more real to me, I think I am definitely leaning towards wanting a boy. I have always envisioned Bobby teaching our kids how to ride a bike, and fish and shoot a slingshot. Definitely boy activities. We'll see how it goes!

Today's playlist:
I Follow Rivers - Lykke Li
Good Woman - Cat Power
Soft Shock - Yeah Yeah Yahs

Thursday, August 11, 2011

New Updates!

So today was my first ultrasound since the hospital fiasco 2 weeks ago, and boy was it a relief to see our little nugget's heart beating away on the ultrasound screen! Bobby had to work and couldn't make it to my appointment, so I took my mom with me and it was actually really nice to have her there because she was so excited to see our baby in real life for the first time instead of just a crummy picture. Also, she is referring to our kid as "him" and "he" Can you guess what she's hoping for?  :] Silly mama!

The reason I went in was to get my standard 1st trimester Nuchal Translucency screening, which is basically the first step in a 2 part screening for genetic abnormalities like Down Syndrome, Tay Sachs, etc. We won't get the preliminary results for about a week, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that our nugget is healthy and thriving. Before my appointment, we discussed the possibility of our baby having a disability and we came to the conclusion that we will love it no matter what the circumstances might be. We have worked so hard to prepare ourselves for parenthood, and whatever the universe decides to hand us, we know we can make it work.

So far, everything looks, feels and seems to be working out! Our little jellybean even waved hello!

Also, we recently celebrated making it to the 12 week mark, which is a huge deal for us. Not only do the chances of miscarriage go down significantly after 12 weeks, it marks the beginning of your 2nd trimester. I think now things are starting to feel real to me and I have been in full blown mommy mode. I'm constantly scouring the internet for discounts on baby products and already designing the nursery in my head. I'm fully taking advantage of my new found energy. Who knows how long it will last!

Today's playlist:
Our Deal - Best Coast
I'm Good, I'm Gone - Lykke Li
The Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hospitals are scary

So of course the minute I announce our news to everyone at work, and all of my non-immediate peeps, something bad happens that scares the beejesus out of us. Its Saturday morning, and I just got out of the shower and I'm getting ready for my best friend's Bridal Shower (which I cooked a lot of the food for and was bringing a lot of supplies for too). I'm standing in front of the mirror just brushing my hair when I feel something wet on my leg. I look down and realize I have a large amount of blood just spilling out of me. My first reaction is HOLY SHIT MY BABY IS DYING. My second reaction is HOLY SHIT MY BABY IS DYING.

I start crying, yell for Bobby (he's still asleep) and sit down while I try to get a grip on what is happening. All the worst scenarios keep flashing through my brain and I can't believe this is happening to me....again.

What most of you don't know if that I had a miscarriage in February...a few weeks before our wedding. It was one of the most heartbreaking, confusing, scary and frustrating times in my life. I really have no idea how I managed to make it through. I guess what they say is true. You figure out who your real friends and family are during hard times. Luckily I have an amazing husband who was nothing but supportive and loving the entire time, and a really kind mother who held my hand every step of the way. I'm lucky to have them both and wouldn't have been able to deal with any of it if it weren't for them.

So now, being 11 weeks along and seeing blood after absolutely no spotting the entire rest of my pregnancy, the first thing I say to myself is "Not again!" I was absolutely crushed and so angry at myself for not waiting until my 1st trimester was over to tell everyone. I felt stupid and alone. I felt terrified and embarassed. I felt scared and pissed. I felt everything at once and there was nothing I could do about any of it.

Bobby called the hospital and we decided to go in to get checked out. So I get myself all wrapped up in some comfy clothes and head to the ER. By this point, I've already convinced myself that the worst is already happening, and I'm just in tears and can hardly contain myself.

We get checked into a room, wait for about an hour to see the doctor and I get a pelvic exam. The first thing he notices is that I'm not dialted. Which is a good sign. He says that I'm not bleeding anymore, but they still want to draw blood and get an ultrasound before they let us go. Another 2 hours of waiting before I get wheeled (bed, gown & all) over to the Labor & Delivery department. They give me an ultrasound, which was excruciatingly long, and luckily, I was able to convince the technician to tell me whether or not the baby still had a heartbeat. Techs aren't supposed to read the test results, but I think she could see the worry already creased into my brow and decided to do me the kidness of not making me wait.

Baby's heart is still going strong. 168 beats per minute to be exact.

After 5 hours, and an unmeasurable amount of stress, they told me everything was fine & that I could go home. Half a relief, and half a frustrating, inconclusive waste of time. I was able to make it to my girlfriend's bridal shower, just as they were opening the presents & saying goodbye. I hope she knows that if I could have controlled this whatsoever, I would have made it happen on any other day.

So now, all I can do is sit, wait & hope that everything will be OK. I think it might have just been a sign that I need to take it easy. I'm used to doing everything for everyone & being everywhere & acting like superwoman. I need to remember that I'm only human, and whatever "urgent" task I need to take care of is just small beans compared to what my body is trying to do: Create a life. I need to sit down, put my feet up and take all the help I can get. And that is exactly what I intend to do. Sorry everyone, I have a date for the next 6 months or so with the couch and I'm not getting up for ANYONE! (except to pee & eat)

Today's playlist:
Under Control - The Strokes
Pa Pa Power - Dead Man's Bones
In My Life - The Beatles

Friday, July 29, 2011

Lots of updates!

Breaking the news to family and friends was super fun, but breaking the news to coworkers and bosses has been really rewarding. I mean, I work full time, so the majority of my waking hours are spent with this make-shift second family. Luckily for me, everyone I work with is amazing, and my company is super family oriented and supportive.

I came into work today wearing my (first) new maternity shirt and with some chocolates to make "spilling the beans" a special occassion.

And I definitely feel like I'm starting to show now. I mean, I have to keep my jeans shut with a hair tie!

Everyone was really happy for Bobby and I and I got to share our ultrasound picture with them. Now, when I forget to check the mail or turn in a timesheet, I can blame my forgetfullness on the nugget's giant head hogging all the blood :]

Also, we signed up for our Lamaze classes. They start in October, and I should be about 24 weeks by then. I was really worried we wouldn't be able to do them together, but magically the dates worked around Bobby's hectic work schedule. Its a 6 week course, and we get tons of literature to take home which is great. I'm such a book worm!

Also, I think the best update for this week is that my morning sickness is finally gone!!! I am so excited to have the urge to cook, eat and be a normal person again! I still feel a tiny bit quesy when I first wake up, but after I drink some juice, I feel completely fine. I was so impressed that I was even able to eat my favorite snack of all time today: Trader Joe's Seaweed Snacks. I have been avoiding them like the plague this last month, and finally they sounded appetizing and I actually enjoyed them. WOOHOO!

Today's Playlist:
New Slang - The Shins
Young Folks - Peter Bjorn and John
Wake Up Alone - Amy Winehouse

Friday, July 22, 2011

There's really something in there!

Before today, I was still a little skeptical about whether or not there was actually a there. A real, wiggly, big headed baby.

Today, we had our first ultrasound, and let me tell you, It was a relief to see my little nugget floating around in there. I'm still too early along to feel any movements or any major symptoms other than nausea, but our little sweet pea did a funny little dance for us while we were watching it. It seemed to stretch out and do a happy little jig! It was the cutest thing ever.

When people tell you that becoming parents makes you feel 500 emotions at once, they weren't kidding! I am ecstatic that everything is growing & developing as it should, and so stoked that we got to see the heartbeat.

Seeing our baby on that monitor was the strangest mix of fear (can I really pull this off?/Will I be a good mom?/What will people think?), joy - (I can't believe that little bean is ours!/YAY!!!/I want to have it already!), and contentment - (Things might actually work out for us this time/My life is complete/etc/etc).

Here's a little glimpse of what our "nuggy" looks like:

Also, a little surprise: I'm farther along than we origianally thought! I thought I was 8 weeks & 6 days, but I'm really 9 weeks & 4 days! So that brings our due date up a bit. It was originally February 25 and now its February 21st. I mean, if our kid is THIS cute already, imagine how adorable its going to be once its done cooking. Conceited, I know, but...just sayin!

Today's playlist:
First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes
Up Up & Away - Kid Cudi
Valarie - Amy Winehouse

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I thought I was one of the lucky ones...Yeah Right.

So these last few weeks since we found out we were expecting, have been pretty much smooth sailing except for the constant bathroom runs, and insatiable hunger.

Then last weekend rolls along and decides to pretty much floor me with the worst pregnancy symptom in the book: Morning Sickness. By the way, whoever dubbed this side-effect "Morning" Sickness should get slapped up-side the head. It's more like 24/7 sickness. I wake up, brush my teeth, throw up whatever water I drank throughout the night. Get in the shower, dry heave almost the entire time because my apple scented shampoo now smells exactly like vomit. Get out & get ready whith my pale-as-a-ghost face and hobble around the house like an idiot. Then, attempt to drink a tiny glass of juice with my prenatal vitamin. It is a battle of epic proportions to keep that little bad boy down.

Get to work (late of course) & slowly/ cautiously eat some yogurt. Feeling a little better. For about an hour. Then I start feeling like a pukey zombie again. Have...To Eat...Something. Fruit & fruit flavored foods are the only thing that make me feel somewhat normal.

Here's a glimpse of what I have been surviving off of for the past week

Other than this awful queasiness, I feel pretty great. According to all of the millions of baby websites I now stalk every spare moment I get, our lil nugget is about the size of a raspberry. And my uterus is about the size of a grapefruit. All I have to say is, THANK YOU BABY JESUS I SAVED MY FAT GIRL PANTS. They are the only jeans I can fit into anymore. Depressing, but thats the name of the game I suppose.

Today's playlist:
That's It, I Quit - Adele
The Knife - Grizzly Bear
I Don't Know What to Do - Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Father's Day Has a Whole New Meaning!

I have to pee. Every 5 minutes. I want to eat everything in sight and my boobs feel like someone punched them. So, naturally, I take a pregnancy test. 2 lines. OHMAHGAWD!

Now, this all happened at 11 o'clock at night on Saturday, June 18th while Bobby was working the night shift. Instead of rushing to find my cell phone in the bottom of my purse and texting him the good news, I decide to wait. I mean, Father's Day is tomorrow after all. So, I wrap the test up in a cute little gift bag, set an alarm for 5 AM and attempt to go to sleep for a few hours until he gets home. After what seems like an eternity, my alarm goes off and I get up, brush my hair, brush my teeth and do my best to look like a cute, glowy pregnant lady & make a BIG breakfast. Bacon, eggs, potatoes, the works, y'all.

He walks in the door around 5:45 and I really hadn't thought up a good excuse why I was up at the buttcrack of dawn making breakfast. I told him I couldn't sleep and figured he must be hungry after working all night (I'm bad at lying). He was suspicious to say the least.

I feed him his giant meal and then tell him I was at Target last night and saw a cute little thing that reminded me of him. I took him to the bedroom and gave him the gift bag. Because I was so excited, I went a little overboard when wrapping the test in tissue paper, so it looked more like a tampon when he took it out of the bag haha! He asked if I had gotten him a pen, a knife, a new lint roller. Then, finally, I think it sunk in because he started saying "NO WAY NO WAY NO WAYYYYY". We kissed. We hugged. It was awesome. We were/are over the moon about the whole thing. 

Can't wait to see our baby nugget in an ultrasound! July 22nd can't come soon enough!

Father's Day Playlist:
Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da - The Beatles
New Soul - Yael Naim
You Will You Will You Will - Bright Eyes

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Now...Let's get things straight

This is my first attempt at blogging, so please forgive me if there are any typos, mysterious lingo, or scatterbrained ramblings. Hopefully, as time goes by, I'll become a little more of a seasoned vet at this kind of thing.

Basically, the whole purpose of this blog is a two part dealio. First off, I recently discovered that my already adorable and wonderful little family that includes me, my amazing husband and my two furry children, is about to get a little bit bigger. We are expecting our first child & I want to be able to share all the photos, milestones, freakouts and memories with my friends and family, as well as document as much as I can so I can reminisce when I'm a crabby old lady. Also, I want to be able to share with everyone how great life is already, and how much better things are about to get!

So, a little about us, if you didn't already know...

I'm a lover of many things. First and foremost I adore my family. My husband is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is the cheese to my macaroni, the butter to my bread. Life pretty much bites when he's not around. Next, my 2 kitties are basically my favorite thing in the world. If it weren't for them, I would be much more of a productive (and boring) person. They are the butt of every joke, subject of every impromptu song and ham of every cell phone picture. Yeah, we know, pathetic! But we love it and wouldn't have it any other way. My favorite hobby, by far, is cooking. I'm a pesco-vegetarian which means I don't eat any red meat or chicken. Everything else is fair game. I'm a fat-kid at heart, so my life is punctuated by either meals, or music. Which brings us to my next love. I have really funny taste in music that no one really seems to get, but I don't really mind. My goal is to give you a list of songs that is on my brain's playlist at the end of each blog. Just so you get a clue of what my mood is like.

My husband and I both have full time jobs, which aren't exactly our life-calling, but hey, they pay the bills. We recently got married in March and are enjoying being newlyweds. We are extremely lucky to have each other, great friends and family & can't wait for what life has in store for us!



Today's Playlist:
The Sweetest Thing - Camera Obscura
My Moon, My Man - Feist
Lisztomania - Phoenix