Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Heavy

As time goes on, I am definitely feeling how difficult it is to carry this baby. In more ways than one. Not only do I feel physically exhausted at the end of each day, I'm starting to really realize how much my body, life, and relationships have changed. Mostly good changes, but some have been really tough to handle. I guess when we decided to have a child, I didn't realize how much I would be sacrificing, and how much of my identity, life, interests and priorities would be put on the backburner. I know I only have a short while left, and that I am going to miss it when its gone, but for now, I am having a hard time with my growing body, responsibilities and emotions. I am looking forward to meeting my son so much, and I know that if it is hard, it is usually worth the struggle. For now, I'm just trying to realize that I am in a really delicate state, and trying to remember to give myself a break whenever I can, but that isn't always an option.

For Christmas this year, the only things I want are more help, more empathy, more patience and more love.

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