The last few weeks of pregnancy were especially grueling, and I can really remember how frustrated and anxious I was, by reading the last few posts on here. Let's start from the beginning... My "new" due date came and went, without any real signs of progress. My cervix hadn't made any changes since the week before, and I was feeling so scared and angry about the possibility of an induction. After my last appointment, my doctor let me choose whether to be induced on the 20th or the 25th. Of course, I chose sooner, rather than later, out of pure excitement. After I got home and realized how soon that actually was, and how my body wasn't doing ANYTHING, I started to second guess my decision, and wondered if Gunner wasn't ready yet. I started to feel really guilty and selfish about wanting to force him to come out. I mean, the longer he stayed in there, the healthier he would be, right? It was a really confusing few days to say the least.
So, naturally, since my induction was already scheduled and there was nothing I could do but wait, I decided to do everything I could to induce myself naturally. I bounced on an exercise ball for HOURS. I took black cohosh. I went power walking. I did nipple stimulation (sorry, TMI). I ate pineapple. I ate spicy food. I went walking again. AND AGAIN. After 3 days of trying to make my body a really uncomfortable place to be, I gave up hope. Gunner was going to come in his own sweet time. I realized this sad fact while I was in the shower, and I started crying, and decided to level with my little man. I let him know how afraid I was of unnatural drugs, and the possibility of a c-section. I stood there in the shower for a good 20 minutes letting him know that it was OK to come out and meet everyone. That we loved him, and he needed to listen to his mommy. I went on another walk that afternoon and Gunner finally decided to cooperate. While Bobby and I were on our long walk, I felt something weird in my underpants (TMI again haha), and when I went to the restroom, I realized I had lost my plug! I have never been so happy to see blood in my life. I knew labor would be right around the corner, and I started to get really excited, and really nervous all at the same time.
The next night, after an entire day of simultaneously jumping for joy, and crapping my pants out of fear, I decided to go to sleep at around 11 PM.
Then, at 2 AM, I woke up with FULL. ON. CONTRACTIONS. 3 minutes apart, 90 seconds long. According to my doctor, you're supposed to head to the hospital when they are 5 minutes apart and 1 minute long, so I was already ahead of the game.
I hopped in the shower, and realized that I need to get the show on the road when my contractions started to blur together. I rinsed my hair as fast as I could, and yelled for Bobby to put the hospital bag in the car. Poor guy had only gotten 1 hour of sleep, but amazingly didn't forget a single thing on the list. He was great. But I know he was just as nervous as I was.
When we got to the hospital, they checked me in, and I was only 3 cm. They usually aren't supposed to admit you until you are 4 cm, but since I had a really nice nurse, she decided to keep me. They put me into a room, and it was basically just hurry up and wait from that point. 4 hours go by, and they check me again. Still 3 cm. They break my water & leave. 2 more hours go by. They check me again, still no progress. I ask for the epidural because at this point, I am laboring so hard, that I fall asleep between contractions and I can't even talk straight.
The anesthesiologist comes in, preps me, sticks me and keeps pumping up the dosage because I can still feel everything. He leaves, and about 10 minutes later I become completely numb from the chest down. One of my legs is dead, and I can't move it at all. 6 more hours goes by, and because of the pitocin they give me, I am actually dilating now. I'm at 8 cm. It won't be long.
I start feeling a lot of pressure, and somehow know that I shouldn't push the epidural button anymore. My mommy instinct kicks in, and I ask the nurse to check me again. I'm at 10 cm. Bobby is out getting coffee in the lobby, and he makes it back to the room in 1 minute flat. They chase everyone out of the room, hand Bobby a leg and tell us its time. I don't even know how I was able to lift my leg, but I got a second wave of energy and motivation. Maybe that's because they turned off the epidural...
Then, all of a sudden, I see a tiny, red, fist go into the air, and a triumphant little wail along with it. My son. My strong, wonderful, baby boy is finally here. That first moment, seeing his hand in the air, and hearing his voice for the first time was the best feeling in the world. All the months of waiting, hurting and stressing were suddenly worth it. They pick him up and put him on my chest and I can barely see his face because I'm crying so hard. I can't even believe he is in my arms. Bobby and I are hugging and bawling and shaking and hugging some more. I can't say anything except OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Both of them. They are my family.
Gunner Lee Stovall was born at 5:37 PM and he weighed 8 pounds, 4.2 ounces and was 21 and 3/4 inches long. I feel like I've just won a race. It is the best feeling in the world to go through hell and meet the person you've been waiting for at the end. I feel like I have known him my whole life. I recognize him. He is me, he is my husband, he is mine, he is ours. I can't even believe it. I'm seeing stars.
